Why Saying “Good Choice” and “Bad Choice” Is Not Really A Choice

Oct 9, 2024

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I respond to a great question from Vicky in Canada about the language we use with children, particularly the phrases “good choice” or “bad choice.” Vicky expressed concerns about hearing these terms frequently, especially in daycare settings, and wanted to know how this fits (or doesn’t) within the child-centered play therapy (CCPT) model. I explain why labeling choices as “good” or “bad” places a judgment on the child’s actions, shifting the focus away from the child’s ownership and empowerment.

I explain that the key principle in CCPT is to keep choices neutral and factual, allowing the child to fully own their decisions and outcomes. Using evaluative language undermines a child’s ability to understand their own agency and responsibility for their actions. Instead of labeling choices, we should offer children the opportunity to make decisions without judgment, fostering independence and internal motivation.

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References:

Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

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